Don't Take Pictures of Bearded Men

Trying to catch a picture of two bearded men having a legitimate meeting in an office is probably as easy as trying to take a picture of two zebras stopping for a drink at a watering hole. I don't really know why I was trying to do this. I think the attempt was to create some sort of quirky post on Facebook in order to illicit laughter, conversation, and likes.

I work at a huge company. Like very huge and very important. Except, I work in customer service and everyone who does not work in the customer service part of this huge company does something creative. On any given day there will be a writer, model, or photographer walking past my desk. Well, this particular bearded man is very attractive. He is one of the people who walks past my desk at least five times a week and all I can think is, "he needs to cut that beard." Now mind you, my last boyfriend had a beard, so I don't discriminate, but my ex's beard was of a normal, average length. With this guy, I can't help but think every time I see him that there must be food of lunches past still haunting it.

Again, he is very attractive and the other day I saw him with another attractive man with a long beard having what looked like a meeting. What are the odds that these two met at our workplace and had important things to talk about? Were they talking about beard competitions? Were they discussing their latest post on our prestigious newspaper site? I don't know, but I very un-tactfully tried to take a picture from a safe distance. I was caught. They stopped their conversation mid-sentence, turned, and stared right at me. 

I walked down the hall in a direction that allowed me no exit and called my mom. My mom was probably wondering why on God's green earth I would ever call her since most days I rush her off the phone. But she saved me, I was able to turn back around looking like I had a legitimate reason to be coming back. Looking like I also had important meetings to attend and calls to take. At least this is what I imagine is the case.

The moral of the story is that men with really long beards should only be seen in natural habitats. Say, perhaps, an absinthe bar on Bedford Avenue in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Or maybe writing in their moleskine journals in the park on a bench on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Never should they be seen at work. Especially if the office where they work also houses a famous Republican news source in the same building. These bearded men don't wear suits, they wear plaid, and they have deadlines, dammit. Important deadlines. It's just a shame I couldn't get a picture.