Songs That Ruined Me for Love: Rush, Rush

This series will explore the many ways that music has shaped my way of thinking about love. It's not all fairy tales and flowers, but thanks to these songs, love will remain a constant disappointment. The first one starts with a 1991 classic:

Paula Abdul's "Rush Rush" came out and my grade school self ate it up. I learned all the words and watched the music video on repeat. My first crush was in the second grade, but I don't think I could say I knew what love was. Maybe I can't now either, even though a couple of decades have passed. What I did learn about love, I learned it from songs like this. 

The lyrics were pretty simple in their message: "I'm gonna run, I'm gonna try. I'm gonna take this love right to ya. All my heart, all the joy. Oh, baby, baby, please. Rush, rush. Hurry, hurry lover, come to me." What got me was the Rebel Without a Cause style music video featuring Keanu Reeves as the lover/male lead. There's just the right amount of smiling and kissing to keep Keanu from having to do too much acting in this video and still keep him dreamy (don't judge me!). 

I Don't Dance!

Not to age myself, but when I was in college about let's say 5-7 years ago, I wrote an aptly named article called I Just Came to Dance for my school newspaper touting the rights that people have to dance at shows. I take it back, I take it all back! Okay, maybe not all of it, but most of it.

I think the internet has changed a lot of things for everyone. It's changed the way we do business, it's changed the way we get our information, and it's changed the way we live. Now when you go to a show, everyone is taking more pictures than actually watching the band.

The great and bad thing about the internet is that so many people have access to awesome music. The bad part is that the people you would've never seen at a concert in the past have access to awesome music. And you have to stand next to them. Then they spill their beer on you. Then you want to react with violence.

There was a recent show I went to where these girls pushed their way to the front of the crowd which is a pretty normal occurrence. However, everyone was pretty chill up until this point and doing their own thing. Some people were dancing and others were not. Then they came along.

Not only did they not have any respect for where people were standing, but they began dancing like they were at a punk show to slow songs. Songs where people were meaningfully singing along and nearly crying is when they were stomping around. This is when I got stepped on and hit in the throat.

I advocate dancing the way you want, but when someone hits me in the throat with their bag is where I draw the line. Jumping around when there's maybe a foot of space between us isn't really proper concert etiquette if there is such a thing. Especially when you're the only one doing it.

So the proposition? Do whatever you want at a show, just watch out for others and say sorry if you hurt someone! I rest my case.

The National Punches You in the Throat

It's been a while since I've been to a show this good. I didn't want it to end. The video and the pictures don't do it justice. The National has been gaining fans at a steady pace and for good reason. In May 2013 I saw them play their song "Sorrow" for 6 hour straight on repeat and they made it sound new each time. This band takes music to the next level in a way that bands don't often do these days.

I went on Wednesday June 18th to the Prospect Park Bandshell where the opening band was Lord Huron. Their music is a mix of bluegrass, folk, and indie. Because I knew they were opening for The National, I spent a week journeying through their album and familiarized myself with some of their songs. Hands down, "She Lit a Fire" is a favorite (maybe because it stirred some personal emotions for me).

The night before that, Phosphorescent opened for them and I wish I could've seen that show as well. I saw Phosphorescent play at an old theater in the middle of a small town in Connecticut about a year ago and it was amazing. The National picked some great opening acts that are up-and-coming in indie music and enough can't be said for both these bands. 

But nothing compares to the show that Matt Berninger put on. He was a mix of rock star gone mad to emotionally connecting to each song he sang. Having seen his brother's documentary Mistaken for Strangers, I immediately saw the struggle for Berninger when he messed up lyrics or something went wrong. He acted out his frustration a bit and threw beer into the crowd, dropped his mic, hit himself with his mic stand to the point of bleeding, and even tossed a fan's phone. But it was totally worth getting punched in the throat (yes, this happened) to see this show. Especially when Sufjan Stevens showed up.

Just a Thought

Too bad he's not calling for a date. He's calling to tell me I have cancer and only 3 months to live.

Don't Take Pictures of Bearded Men

Trying to catch a picture of two bearded men having a legitimate meeting in an office is probably as easy as trying to take a picture of two zebras stopping for a drink at a watering hole. I don't really know why I was trying to do this. I think the attempt was to create some sort of quirky post on Facebook in order to illicit laughter, conversation, and likes.

I work at a huge company. Like very huge and very important. Except, I work in customer service and everyone who does not work in the customer service part of this huge company does something creative. On any given day there will be a writer, model, or photographer walking past my desk. Well, this particular bearded man is very attractive. He is one of the people who walks past my desk at least five times a week and all I can think is, "he needs to cut that beard." Now mind you, my last boyfriend had a beard, so I don't discriminate, but my ex's beard was of a normal, average length. With this guy, I can't help but think every time I see him that there must be food of lunches past still haunting it.

Again, he is very attractive and the other day I saw him with another attractive man with a long beard having what looked like a meeting. What are the odds that these two met at our workplace and had important things to talk about? Were they talking about beard competitions? Were they discussing their latest post on our prestigious newspaper site? I don't know, but I very un-tactfully tried to take a picture from a safe distance. I was caught. They stopped their conversation mid-sentence, turned, and stared right at me. 

I walked down the hall in a direction that allowed me no exit and called my mom. My mom was probably wondering why on God's green earth I would ever call her since most days I rush her off the phone. But she saved me, I was able to turn back around looking like I had a legitimate reason to be coming back. Looking like I also had important meetings to attend and calls to take. At least this is what I imagine is the case.

The moral of the story is that men with really long beards should only be seen in natural habitats. Say, perhaps, an absinthe bar on Bedford Avenue in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Or maybe writing in their moleskine journals in the park on a bench on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Never should they be seen at work. Especially if the office where they work also houses a famous Republican news source in the same building. These bearded men don't wear suits, they wear plaid, and they have deadlines, dammit. Important deadlines. It's just a shame I couldn't get a picture.

Ugly Guys Need not Apply (Or: I'm SO Fabulous)

I just watched the first episode of season one of Catfish. For those who have never seen the show, it's about people who have had an online relationship with someone they've never met in person.

The girl in this episode, Sunny, thinks she's really in love with the model RJ King. I was aghast. I didn't watch the whole thing and it's because I just couldn't take it anymore.

I kind of felt bad for Sunny. But there's something so self-centered that I just can't get past it. What is the likelihood of a famous, wealthy person falling in love with some average girl over the internet?

What makes a girl like this so naive and convinced that this could happen to her? I'll bet he meets hundreds of women a day: models, actresses, stylists, personal trainers, and even normal girls. Would he really go online to find a woman? 

What made her feel that she really stood out enough to get the attention of this model? He's been in magazines, worked for huge brands, and traveled to places she's probably only dreamed of seeing (or never even heard of before).

Social media may actually bring us together in a way, but it also brings out some of our worst qualities. Narcissism has been cited heavily, but this type of behavior is probably also a side effect. Personally, I can barely tell whether a guy I went out with after meeting on a dating site likes me. Forget about believing that I'm actually dating a model. 

5 Moments That Make You Feel Like a New Yorker

Whether you've lived in NYC your whole life or you have been here for just a few years, here are 5 moments that will instantly make you feel like a New Yorker.

1. Almost getting hit by a car: My moment occurred in Brooklyn. I had right of way, a pizza delivery car turned down the street and almost hit me. He was on his phone and had a Russian accent. I for the first time shamelessly swore at someone with every bad word I could think of while kicking his car...and it came naturally.
2. Yelling out of a window for some reason: Maybe this is a Brooklyn thing, but when it's three in the morning and some idiot is standing outside your window and being loud for no reason, it's time to take matters into your own hands. Open the window and yell to your heart's content.
3. Getting stuck in the doors of a train as they close: Everyone hates when this happens, but you're truly a New Yorker when you're the one it's happening to. I for one and am not waiting 15 more minutes for another D train to come.
4. Eating an egg and cheese on a hard roll: Yours might also have bacon or sausage or both. But you got it on the corner deli (bodega) and it's probably accompanied by a coffee that has more sugar and cream in it than actual coffee.
5. Seeing a person you wish you could date: There's always that moment whether it's after you've been out drinking with your friends all night or you're on your way home from Whole Foods, that you see the person who looks like "The One." And usually, that person is across the platform going in the opposite direction from you.

Falling in Love With Google

A Google+ commercial came out not too long ago that made me stop and say "aww" because it was one of those cute little videos that you know never really happen in real life, but wish were true:

Google picked the right music and the right demographic for their ads. A lot of guys I know who saw this were a little angry at it, but overall it had a great effect. Well, Google has done it again, this time with a simple e-mail that turns into a complex message:

Once again, the music is right, the pictures and videos are perfect and there's a ton of romance behind this guy's request for coffee. I guess this happens in real life, but does it really happen in real life? 

I think the message is clearly that we should fall deeper in love with Google than we already are because we too can transform our lives with the help of Google. What do you think?

The End of Concert Going?

I was a music fan by the time I was six (more than likely before then), but I didn't get my very first CD until I was twelve. Before then (okay, and after) I would buy blank cassette tapes and record my favorite songs off the radio.

Throughout high school, I think I got to see one concert of my choice. I was never able to do that simply because my parents were too conservative and thought something might happen to me if I went.

That all changed once I was able to get my license (I didn't have it until I was nineteen), a car and work a semi-steady retail job. It was easy, you would look up the shows you wanted to see and buy a ticket. I think scalpers will always be around, but the equivalent of waiting until tickets are available online was waiting in line the night before.

Is that all over now? I think so. My friend actually sits on the computer prior to tickets going on sale and buys massive amounts for himself, friends and family members. Sometimes he has more than one computer going to ensure he gets them.


If you don't find out about a show in time, the place to go now is Ebay or Craigslist. I think this is all making concert going a lost activity. Sure, people go and venues get sold out, but there are still so many that get lost out in the cold and will never get to see their favorite artist play. They may even be their biggest fan!


It's pretty unfair. I guess there's no real way to make it fair, but when people get to buy pre-sale tickets and later charge people an exorbitant amount of money. It's already a pain paying almost as much in fees as the cost of tickets. I looked up a show that was $45 and the fees brought the cost to $83. Yes. Really. Almost the cost of the ticket.

So what's the deal? Is there a fairer way to do this? I say there should be. Especially for the fourteen-year-old sitting in his room buying all the albums and learning all the words. They should get to be the first to go.

Fairness in an Intimate Wash

A story appeared on Jezebel.com about a video for an intimate wash that advertised that it will make a woman's private area cleaner and brighter. It's been circulating for about a day or so now and people are...well, let's just say surprised?

Fairness creams and bleaches have been around for a long time in Southeast Asia and Africa. This is not a new trend and this is not something we're unfamiliar with. It's been an ongoing debate that hasn't died down. In fact the woman in the video above is a well-known Indian actress.

http://www.desihits.com/news/view/aishwarya-rai-bachan-refuses-loreal-fairness-cream-ads-20081229

Most people who are white take this as a woman's rights issue, which it is, but it really is no different than fairer skin women going tanning or laying out in the sun. The adverse effects may be different, but both can cause damage so the outrage should be more equal.

As someone whose mother has told her countless times how fair I was when I was born; it's seen differently in Pakistani/Indian culture. Modern women in those countries are outraged in a way that the generations before them were not, mainly because it has been acceptable to see a girl as "too dark" (as being ugly) and "very fair" (as being pretty).

Maybe it comes from the caste system or maybe it's a side-effect of colonization. Whatever the case may be, this is not a new debate and I personally feel that it's a little hypocritical for people who embrace tanning so much to be surprised if someone wants to be fairer.

The Ting Tings Are SO Underrated

When a band like The Ting Tings are coming on, you at least expect the opening act to be a little fun. This was not the case Tuesday night at Webster Hall in NYC. The coat check people were mean and the guy taking tickets warned us there was no re-entry and after seeing MNDR I know why.

The one woman show (who I found out via Wikipedia is actually part of a duo) is signed to Ultra which makes me question their generally great choice in picking dance music acts. She was a train wreck which is why I couldn't stop watching her or making fun of her. I tried to like her, but it just wasn't happening.

The Ting Tings are known for at least two songs which are "That's Not My Name" and "Shut Up & Let Me Go". I was so excited to see them live and I was not disappointed. I definitely think that they are an underrated band that should get more attention if for no other reason that they put on a fun show.

Their music is somewhat repetitive, but that's what makes it a lot of fun! They have the kind of music that makes people want to dance. To me, seeing a band that really gets people excited about just having fun is a great one!

Customer Service & Bad Economy

I think I've been hearing less about the economy, but with unemployment still high, it's obvious that we haven't recovered. As a student in a graduate program, I'm not only a graduate assistant in my school's music department, but I'm working in retail. Again.

This time around, I'm actually enjoying it more than in my younger years. I was a book slave at Barnes & Noble for almost five years in four cities. Let's just say it's a nicer place to go to rather than be employed with. It's not the company, but the customers aren't exactly the most pleasant. Surprising, huh?

So you would think with such a bad economy, customer service would be the priority of companies and employees. Both desiring to make money, right? I was surprised to see that it's not necessarily the case. I work for a small, local consignment store where the people I work with are great, as are the customers and when they're not; we do everything we can to make it right.

I can also say that at Barnes & Noble, Best Buy and Starbuck's (amongst others) I have received exceptional customer service. There's a reason certain places are still in business. It's probably a combination of service, product and happiness of the employees themselves.

I walked into a certain department store that has been around for decades. It's not JC Penney's and it's not Macy's, but a similar retailer (I'm sure many can deduce which one) that I think has been struggling in this economy. Well, I thought I was buying two towels at $5.99 a pop. So I told the cashier...she was tired, but walked over to the section and did in fact find a stack next to the sign.

She said she couldn't do anything so I asked for the manager and explained to him that I should not be penalized for their mistake. Not only did he mumble about how I couldn't "read the sign" (I have a Bachelor of Arts in English and am pursuing an MFA in Writing), but he also said "whatever" when I said he had to validate the posted price.

I got my wish, but what was the cost? Do bad economy and bad customer service go hand in hand? And is it always the fault of the company or is it sometimes the fault of management and employees?

The Sisterhood of Travel

I went on vacation to Miami recently with expectation in my eye that this would be a great trip with my friend of fifteen some odd years. I was disappointed to learn the truth. When someone is a certain way in everyday life; they're not going to change suddenly because the locale changed.

She and I apparently have different ideas of what's fun and what's not. Although I had told her my intentions (and she agreed on the terms) for our time there, it seemed like when we got there; suddenly she was tired. She got way more sleep than I did. I think I slept all of twenty hours that week.

I tried to do the things she wanted to do, drink and eat the things she wanted and tried to be as entertaining as possible. But it was to no avail. This was not what I imagined and suddenly I was having a not so great time. The energy (or lack thereof) a person can sometimes determine how you feel too.

Sufficed to say, it wasn't my favorite trip ever. The last time I went on vacation with a friend it was to California and it was awesome. We didn't eat, we stayed out late and we laughed a lot. But she's a completely different person than the friend who I recently went with.

So what's the deal with traveling with a friend? Make sure you're on the same page. Drill them and get to the bottom of it. Because whoever they are in daily life is who they will be on vacation. Eventually you have to trust them, but my advice is that if you have fun with them in your normal environment; you'll have fun out there: wherever that is. What do you think?

Justice for Trayvon Martin

By now most people have heard the story of of Trayvon Martin, the unarmed teenager who was killed by a self-appointed neighborhood watch "captain" George Zimmerman. Zimmerman was not arrested although he fatally shot the young man because he looked suspicious to him.

Reverend Al Sharpton has planned a protest rally for later this week in central Florida where the boy is from and a support website for justice can be found here: http://www.justicefortrayvonmartin.com/ I am personally saddened to hear that a boy lost his life because of the obvious crazed suspicions of an armed man who has not been brought to justice.

Broken American Dreams

Whether you want to blame the economy, politicians, war or price of oil; everyone agrees the American landscape has changed in the last few years. As a formerly full-time employed worker who has been on unemployment in the past, I can say from experience things aren't what I expected once I graduated college.

People across the country from all socio-economic backgrounds are facing the same struggles with earning and spending money. Some of us can hide out for a time in grad school, but what are we going to see when we finally get out of the protection of school?

I just heard a story about a young professor I work with who was beat out for a tenure position to a sixty-something professor who should be ready for retirement, but apparently had the connections to get the job. The scale seems unbalanced to me.

Everyone has heard of the American Dream: Get married, find a stable job, buy a house and have 2.5 kids. But is that still happening? What are the changes that are coming with the advent of social media and jobs being redistributed overseas? Are we working more for less money?

I've found in the last few years that I've been having to do several projects just to have what would be considered a normal "salary". Is this the norm these days? What's the opinion out there?

Limbaugh's Apologies for Fluke Comments

Huff Post posted in an article today that Limbaugh has lost some sponsors thanks to his comments about Sandra Fluke, but LifeLock (anti-identity theft company) said that he apologized and that's good enough for them! Some experts are even suggesting that sponsors stay on the show as advertisers so when people watch for the next (inevitable) slip-up--they'll get more exposure.

Is it just me or does everyone think apologies will make up for the stupid things they said? Kirk Cameron hasn't apologized yet, but it seems like whenever there's a racist comment, a threat made or a "slip-up", people just apologize and it's all forgotten!

Who can forget the following gems of saying or doing the wrong thing and later apologizing for it:

• Imus apologizing for his nappy headed hoes comment
• Chris Brown apologizes to Rihanna
• Mel Gibson apologizes to Jewish people

This is just a cowardly way to do something you actually think or believe and then later back out from it with an apology.

This is Alabama and we speak Southern!

Tim James is probably going to get a lot of votes this election year. That's because in Alabama, they speak English! The recent commercial released by the candidate talks about making it so that there aren't so many accommodations made for non-English speaking residents. Tim James is singlehandedly going to rid his state of diversity.

I know all of the Patriotic and average Americans who don't really think about this stuff will stand up and shout that as Americans we should speak English and if people don't want to learn our language, well they can just get out! But here's some points that I think people should really examine before they start getting angry.

First: People say "Well, when you go to Russia, you don't speak English there!" Actually, how many Americans GO to other countries not knowing the language and still manage to get around at restaurants, hotels, and different sightseeing destinations? Why is that? Could it be because in most countries, people DO speak more than one language? Maybe it's not so far-fetched to think that our lack of language diversity is something that's restricted to us.

Second: The last I checked, when the British didn't know how to speak the language of whichever native tribe was here, they didn't try and learn. There were hundreds of tribes massacred for their land. The only reason we speak English is because of the British. If anything we SHOULD be speaking Spanish, since the Spaniards (Juan Ponce de León people) was the first documented European to arrive here.

Third: As far as I can see, we're probably one of the most diverse countries in the world. That means that we have people from ALL OVER the world coming and living here. And guess what? That's how it has always been. If the United States is changing, it wouldn't be the first time. And we're not the only ones that "accommodate" to this change in our country.

And most importantly, in the long run, seeing more than one language isn't really hurting us. If you look around the world, most people KNOW more than one language. People were surprised by how well my parents spoke English. Well, it's because we're taught it in Pakistan since childhood. And guess what? Studies show that bilingual and trilingual children are usually smarter than those who only speak one language.

Maybe, just maybe, it would've helped Tim James to know another language.

In God We Trust

This country is a place that has freedoms other countries don't. Most people don't choose to practice their faith outwardly, but if you're Muslim and a woman, you might cover your head or if you're a Jewish male you might be seen donning a skullcap. As for Christians, I believe they should submit to a different standard.

A couple of weeks ago, Trevor Keezer of Florida said that he was fired from Home Depot because of his "One Nation God" pin which he said he wore to support his brother in the war overseas. While the sentiment seems noble, when I think of his life as a Christian, it comes across a little bit below the mark.

The former cashier began to bring his Bible to work and while the news portrays this man as more of a patriot rather than a religious person, I have to question his and the Christianity of Americans today. More than any other major faith including Muslims and Jewish people, Christians are called to lead a life that few follow and a path that's difficult and filled with persecution.

Unfortunately, the line between secular and religious has been skewed in this country thanks to the rights we have. Christians are probably one of the most prominent groups that voice the wrongs which have been done to them. I won't lie, the majority of people are turned off by Christians and their faith. But instead of embracing a life of humility, some suffering, and thankfulness that we have a God who loves us--we fight for our "rights".

In Somalia, a Christian was KILLED because they refused to wear a veil, while in my native country of Pakistan a man was killed because he "desecrated" the Qur'an. To this day people are stoned to death and even crucified in the name of Christ. These people take John 15:18-21 literally when it says “If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you...If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you...because they do not know Him who sent Me."

The bottom line for American Christians which they forget when they fight for "rights" in this country is that they're not called to be loved or even apart of this world. The issues of this country which are law are not ones they have to follow or even live by, if anything what they do on their own and in their lives speaks louder than taking away the rights of those around them.

Dentyne Computer Themed Ads

I began to see computer message themed ads from Dentyne on the trains. At first I thought they were beautifully photographed. One featured a man kissing a woman who sat inside a taxi with a cute saying underneath that read "The Original Instant Message". There are several of these which have apparently begun to annoy certain New Yorkers because they're everywhere.

These ads have annoyed me as well, but not because they're plastered everywhere. Seemingly cute, all American themed, these ads at first glance can be refreshing. Upon closer examination, however, things become painfully clear of what type of "All American" these ads are targeting, non-minority. Read: White, heterosexuals, in their mid twenties to early thirties.

Would it kill Dentyne to promote interracial dating, friendship, or life as it actually is? Not to mention, that they don't show men with other men, only two women who are friends according to the message underneath and the majority are men and women together or people over thirty (or under their mid-twenties for that matter). It seems like they are creating their perfect demographic by only showing this small group of people in their ads.

I am amazed that Dentyne has singlehandedly managed to exclude minorities, those in their forties and above, and gays and lesbians. Yes, these ads are free of any seeming controversy alright, except if the majority of New Yorkers who include many different ages, races and sexual preferences took notice, I'm sure they would not be pleased. Shame on you Dentyne!